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Mockery of our own corporate letter

We realize that you've got a choice in the crazy world of online sift pans, and, well, we wanna thank you for visiting ours. Even if you didn't mean to. Yeah

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 30, 2003 | Comments (0)

Mail-order phd

Yeah, I'll bet that there are a lot of things that you can buy that appear to have merit, but really don't.

Along those lines, come on, you've had to consider the $30 mail-order-phd at some point in time. You could hang it on the wall of your home-office next to your other real diplomas just to the left of billy-the-bass - everyone would think so highly of you!

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 30, 2003 | Comments (2)

(definition) "Online Sift Pan": Slang,

(definition) "Online Sift Pan": Slang, but not short for: 'weblog'. A place where one can sift through endless miles of mediocre to unspeakably bad/boring writing about the author's own life and experience in search of a rare bit of truth/humor/brilliance.

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 30, 2003 | Comments (0)

Shuffleboard or skydiving

Hey - you know how you sometimes say 'I just can't put it into words' to describe the elation you feel after trying something for the first time? Well, that's just not very descriptive is it?

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 30, 2003 | Comments (0)

Line in the sod

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 22, 2003 | Comments (0)

The Door is ajar

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 22, 2003 | Comments (0)

Logic no logic

Now tell me the sense in SPAM (unsolicited email) that advertises ad-blocking software...

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 18, 2003 | Comments (0)

Work from home...

Working from home can help to keep you out of touch with reality, and free you of the bindings of the social scene.

If you start applying yourself to a hobby or trade, esp. a paranoia-driven one like running a webserver, you should find a billable (or tax-deductible) way to keep from going totally insane.

I'd suggest hiring contractors to visit you every Wednesday to drink beer and to talk to you. Keep all receipts for alcohol and write a note on the back of them saying: "normalizing", or if it's on a Friday: "normalizing binge"

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 14, 2003 | Comments (0)

The wiley world of publishing

If you wrote a book called "The Idiots Guide to Dummies" I'd bet you'd sell a lot to idiots and dummies. (Courtesy of Mark Cousin)

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 11, 2003 | Comments (0)

Helicopter-cam view

To help you think about life as being more linear and finite try this: on the grand scheme of things, 'sleeping' is really only 'napping' - a small part of a continuous and collective journey. So what are you doing that's so important that you keep on, only taking breaks for naps?

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 08, 2003 | Comments (0)

In a world without payphones...

Living on borrowed cell-phone time

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 08, 2003 | Comments (0)

Man-comfort

There is something kind of man-comforting about saying the word 'baby' to someone in a non-infant kind of way.

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 06, 2003 | Comments (0)

Domesicity City 2

Sometimes 'domesticity' is simply having a place where you know you can find Advil...

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 06, 2003 | Comments (0)

Rebar

I'm not sure if this came from the outer reaches of space or from the desk of the captain, but here is an idea spawned from emotions surrounding the company veriSign™. (There is no link provided because I don't want any of you giving them business - they are the very kind of corporate bloat-nonsense that will, we hope, make it eventually do an impression of a whale dropped from a 13-story crane onto a concrete parking lot)

If you write a burning-hate letter to a company that deserves it you are 'ripping them a new e-hole'.

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 06, 2003 | Comments (0)

Growing Pains

Sometimes 'domesticity' is simply having a place where you know you can find Advil...

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 04, 2003 | Comments (0)

Domesticity City

Here's all I'm saying; 'Domestic' doesn't have to be a four letter word if you just make it a little more subjective like: 'Is the universe larger going out or going in?'

Now that we've done that, 'domestic' can mean everything from 'let's make babies' to 'I've got a mailing address that's mine, all mine.' or 'I don't have bugs in my sink.' Hey - welcome to the club, have a beer - just rinse it out when you're done, okay?

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 04, 2003 | Comments (0)

Military cryptology

Hope dials busy signals in round marble buildings

Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on January 03, 2003 | Comments (0)