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Open Letter to Journalists
Open letter to journalists (New York version): Would you STOP WITH THE F****ING SENSATIONALISM ALREADY?! YOU'RE MAKING AN ASS OUT OF A MOLEHILL. I don't want to EVER hear you say "the biggest ever" or ANY variation of it ever again. It is meaningless fluff to try to make whatever it is you're going on about seem like the most important thing and that we should actually pay attention.
I'll let you in on a little secret: Until things get "as bad as they've ever been" due to global warming, overpopulation, famine, and war, things will ALWAYS be the "biggest they've ever been" because:
- The world population is still growing, EXPONENTIALLY
- We still have people immigrating to the US
- Your numbers can always be skewed. Take for example this article on Pixar that says: "Pixar Animation Studios has reached infinity and beyond. From 1995's Toy Story - the world's first all-CG feature - to last year's Finding Nemo, Pixar's five hermetically crafted movies have grossed a staggering $2.5 billion at the box office, making it the most successful film studio, picture for picture, of all time".
Hey - I love Pixar as much as the next guy, but Disney was the only game in town until Fantasia flopped in the theaters and they pledged to make only "formula films" that would make everyone happy. They've been around since 1923.
Thank you and good night.
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 25, 2004 | Comments (0)
Open Letter to Musicians 2 of 2
Open letter to musicians and noisemakers (Nieve Version): It must be so difficult being a famous musician these days with having all of those wires and cables and sound equipment lying around. I mean, how can you possibly keep track of what synthesizer is plugged into what effects pedal when you need to have the world of sound at your fingertips?! Maybe this is why you end up miskakedly hearing answering machine messages on so many big albums...
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 25, 2004 | Comments (0)
Open Letter to Musicians 1 of 2
Open letter to musicians and noisemakers (New York Version): STOP PUTTING YOUR F****** VOICEMAIL RECORDINGS IN YOUR MUSIC. WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT YOUR PRODUCER HAS TO SAY ABOUT YOUR UPCOMING ALBUM OR WHAT YOUR NEW FAMOUS PEEPS HAVE TO SAY TO YOU. THIS HAS GONE ON FOR LONG ENOUGH (SINCE ANSWERING MACHINES WERE INVENTED, APPARENTLY) AND IT IS NOTHING BUT SONIC MASTURBATION AND HAS NO PLACE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. Thank you and good night.
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 25, 2004 | Comments (0)
Lifelong Attention Span
Time. It heals wounds and warps perspectives.
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 25, 2004 | Comments (0)
Duckstop FAQ
Q: Dude, why are you always getting down on hippies? What did they ever do to you?
A: It is true that I have been giving hippies more heat on my blog in the past year. The truth of the matter is: I'm doing it out of love, not because I have a thing against hippies. On the contrary -- I used to BE a hippy (vegetarian, sandal-wearing, long-haired, easy going - the whole bit) and to this day some people say that my trimmed hair, business ownership, and button-down shirts are but a thin veil over my true inner hippyness.
The reason I get on the case of you hippies is that YOU HAVE BEEN RIGHT ALL THE TIME. You CAN make a difference but it takes a LOT more than wishful thinking and a noticeable amount more than the "eco fest" celebrations because that kind of thing is blah blah blah we've heard it all before.
The world does listen to those who have applied themselves seriously to science, chemistry, agriculture, etc. The world listens to experts, and if it doesn't, the experts (not giving up) come up with creative ways to succeed anyway.
So all I'm saying is that you can change the world but you'll have the most serious impact if you can break out of your small peaceful communes with more than a war protest sign and start shaking hands with businessmen/women and coming up with solutions that can sell. Idealists are, and will always be, unimaginably outnumbered by pragmatists, lazy, uneducated, and cheap people. Sorry.
Here are a few projects that the world could use a hand with:
- Hydrogen power to replace fossil fuels
- Organic farming of crops on a larger level
- More free-range animals
- Socialized health care that works better than it does in Europe (the overall quality of health care is less there and citizens oft. ending up shelling out big money when it comes to serious operations and the like)
- ( fill in the blank )
Also: It's okay to keep doing the The Mermaid Parade, burning man, and making folk music - sometimes you've got to take a break from the hard work and let off some steam.
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 22, 2004 | Comments (0)
Shampoo
Okay, so here's my idea for a new product: It's a shampoo named Head, Shoulders, Knees, Toes & Shoulders.
:: Camera enters bathroom. the sound of running water can be heard. A fit young man is jamming out to his waterproof in-shower CD player ::
"The key to Head, Shoulders, Knees, Toes & Shoulders is the froth. Our new shampoo has 10,000 times more froth than the leading brand..."
:: Image of the floor of another shower with green tiles. A blob of foam drops from above, followed by another, and another. Soon the foam is building up -- working it's way all the way up to (and covers) the chest of a young woman. The Trance music continues. Cut back and forth between the two showers where the occupants are dancing. Music swells and strobes are seen. ::
:: Image fades out and is replaced by logo: "Head, Shoulders, Knees, Toes & Shoulders" ::
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 22, 2004 | Comments (0)
Rose Farming
Hippies: It's okay if you don't stop and smell the roses EVERY day...
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 22, 2004 | Comments (0)
Oh so many socks.
If the shoe doesn't fit ... don't wear it
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 15, 2004 | Comments (0)
Nutritional Information data
I would like to see a "Nutritional Information" label for the air in New York City. With the amount of particulates in the air I'm *sure* some minerals would register after 24 hours of breathing. Your "serving size" would probably be in cubic cm and would be based on the national breathing average.
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 07, 2004 | Comments (0)
The Efficient Home
Keywords: Home improvement, cleaning, supplies, products, America, anti-American, save money
I can't speak from the perspective of a baby-raising homeowner, but for the rest of America: you don't need 8 million different disposable cleaning products. Really. You know that stack of hand towels? If you're cycling through them regularly you probably have a few a week that are on the way to the hamper.
Why not pick one up and drag it across a few mirrors, countertops, etc. before walking out of the bathroom? There. You've just saved money on cleaning supplies, didn't really take any time out of your busy schedule, and make very complete use of the materials you already have.
Posted by Aaron R. Deutsch on May 05, 2004 | Comments (0)