Duckstop

Click Undo. Now click it again.

Scoldaphone: the phone found in the sysadmin's office.

Bacon Pusher

Life pretty much comes down to working or hustling, just comes down to who you work for.

Insincere Cigarettes

Instead of letting people blow smoke up your a**, why not just smoke it?

Follow Your Yellow Brick Road

The universe has a way of making sure that our desired path is NOT the one of least resistance. This is it's way of testing that we are REALLY sure we want what we see at the end. It is generally long, winding, littered with your fears and insecurities, and devoid of all shortcuts. It is also completely passable.

Ketchup by any other name...

Pickled ginger, soy and wasabi are merely training wheels for eating sushi; if it's good they are completely unnecessary.

Filling the Canon quota for the day

Sometimes when that wick is burning low and you need to hit *something* you just need to adjust your aim from the stars to the trees.

Black Hole Stomach

We eat to absorb and convert energy. On the grand scheme of things we don't eat a whole lot. We can't eat metal. We can't eat rock.

Black holes, on the other hand, are having a feast

Only You Can Prevent Computer Fires

Working in technology is kind of like being a forest ranger: you study species, give tours, and try to keep things from catching on fire.

Ask Doctor Computer

What is the best tool you can have when you work and experiment with computers? A second computer.

Oboe vs. Flute

Some of Dave Matthew's songs sound like organized street fights with classical instruments.

"Tear Here"

I think "easy open" is actually a means by which to:
(a) open everything around the thing you want to get at in the packaging and/or
(b) make the packaging a {product name} gun, firing the contents all across the room

People are outside, inside, inside-out, outside-in, out, in, EVERYWHERE!

Let's face it, we all hear voices in our heads and a lot of the time we just don't agree with them. The main thing that separates us from crazy people is that we don't argue with our voices out loud.

WWJD

Roll with the (sucker) punches.

Busted!

Sometimes surveillance reveals different things than intended

Urban living is more and more disposable

Crapmanship
Used to describe the overall poor quality of an item from design straight through to manufacturing and use.

Thanks to planned obsolescence and general crapmanship I have burned through two paper shredders in two years. That's bunk!